Act Like A Lady...Think Like A Lady!

I get frown lines on my forehead just typing that title, because it makes me think of how much I despise the idea of a 40/50 something year old...divorced...comedian writing a book trying to school women on how to think and act. Before you go on your rampage, my friends tell me...read the book...! Ok, maybe they're right, before you go to judge you should do your research...yeah, but my semi-feminist/women centric spirit, won't let me!

As I've gotten older, I've seen some drastic changes in the way I think about men. I think growing up you tend to look at men as these foreign creatures that are so unlike us and so hard to figure out. What's funny, is now, it's just the opposite for me, they're so easy to read and now I look at them as little boys...trying to find their way through the world and figure out how to be men! They are traveling the same journey as women are and when we can start to look at them as "human" is when we'll get them.

Ladies, what makes us so special is that we are indeed ladies! Why would you want to think like a man? That's not intrinsically who we are? It goes against the laws of nature and it encourages us to create this persona or way of thinking that's not true to who we are! You read this book and take in depth notes of how you "should" act or think like a man to get...what result? What will thinking like a man get you? You'll practice those techniques and they may work for a while, but what happens when your "true-self" comes out? Because it will.

When the frenzy about this new book hit the market, women were sleeping with it next to their beds like it was a bible! Ladies, what type of direction are you looking for that you'd hold this book in such high regard. Now, I'm by no means saying that Steve Harvey is not a credible source...it's just his opinions right? and I'm not saying that his book is any different from any other self help books, but there's something so disempowering to me about a book that encourages women to not be what God intended for them to be...WOMEN.

There is a reason why men love us so much, why all of our quirks and imperfections are so beautiful to them, why change that? There are so many empowering things woman can practice, that can help them become better women! Better women to themselves first! Then better mothers, sisters and friends...

Here are my self help tips:
1. Act Like a Lady...Think Like a Lady...

That's it!

1 is NOT the loneliest number!

We often get caught up in comfort zones that can cause us to loose ourselves. Feeling the need to always need to be around people, or do things with people or have someone by your side at all times, is not healthy. I've always been a loner, but I have indeed been wrapped up before in being comfortable not being alone, which made my time alone akward. When I look back I realize that some of my most peaceful, most enjoyable moments have been those where I've been alone! I fuss at one of my friends about being comfortable being by herself, until she can learn to do that she will never really be happy. Some of us stay in unhealthy relationships and keep the company of not so great friends from a fear of being alone. Hey! it's ok, really. Do you know what happens when you're alone? Reflection, Epiphanies, Clarity...silence. I love silence! Sometimes I find myself indulging in it when I'm around other people, and they ask, why are you so quiet, why not? Silence can make some people feel uncomfortable, but there's something to be said when you can be around someone who gets it and is ok with those silent moments~who can still connect with you and your energy when you're silent. There are few people in my life, that get that...my best friend I think is one of the only people who does.

I went away to college alone, not knowing anyone and walked away from that situation with some great friends, a great education and some of the best memories of my life. I navigated through my career alone! And have built some great professional relationships and made some great moves. I bought my first place alone! There are so many things that I've done alone and have had so much significance on who I am.

You cannot hold yourself back waiting on someone else to be there for you/with you...you have to keep it moving. If you want to travel...go! Maybe you'll make some new friends! If you want to go to dinner alone...go! and order that desert w/o having someone sitting across from you judging you...lol. Having people in your life is great, but don't depend on them to Make Life Happen, that's up to you!

I always say, that I am a work in progress, I have to remind myself of these things everyday! But, as with anything in life, it's a process - and as long as I am present to it all I'll get there.