What Are You Worth?

It's amazing how it can take half of your life for you realize your worth...As women we give so much of ourselves and seldomly ever get the equivalent back in return. We bend over backwards in our relationships, play wifey before the ring, play house before...the house, play best friend before the trust...In our careers we come in early, stay late, take on more than we get paid for...We raise our children alone, give them the clothes off of our backs, last penny, last bite to eat...Yet despite it all, we somehow come out smiling. We demand with no compromise that those we love are taken care of, that we do just enough to survive and make it through to tomorrow. But what we fail to do is demand with no compromise our worth...

If you could ask for an receive anything in the world as a contribution to your worth, what would it be...a certain amount of money, car, house, soul mate, promotion...what. Or is there even a material thing that could even measure what you're worth. Ladies, have you ever been with a man who's said to you....you've given enough of yourself to everyone else, its your turn...quit your job, move to "random city", and pick out your house...I'll pay off your debt and you and your child will be taken care of...what about being offered a sweet job where a position was created for you, paid you double, allows you to work from home 2 days a week with the summers off...Imagine that. Most of use would not even be open to receiving anything like this, because we have not even allowed ourselves the opportunity to be worth anything more than what and who we are in that moment. Its not about the money, or career, etc... But it's more about the acknowledgment, intention and action behind it.

Relationships
You'd love him sitting in a dirt hole on the side of a highway with no reservations. He may not be your ideal, but you compromise because no ones perfect right? Notice I say compromise and not settle, because we're all works in progress...yes men are too! It's one thing though to allow them the space to grow, but it's another thing to loose yourself inside of who you want them to be. As novices to what a real relationship looks like, women we fall in love and give everything....from our loyalty and undivided attention to our eggs and ovaries...and after the dust has settled you count your losses and take what you thought would produce your fairy tale, dust yourself off and you're back on the wagon again. Then ask yourself, did you get what you were worth in that relationship? did you even go into the relationship knowing what you were worth? How can we expect a man to treat us how we think we deserve to be treated and we don't even know what we're worth? Are you worth a genuine friendship? a trusting relationship? Are you worth someone working their ass of to be in a position where they can provide for you emotionally and physically, are you worth having someones full attention? are you worth listening to with an open mind and eager ear? what about being worth acknowledging your fairy tale and not only saying you'll make it come true but doing so? One of my favorite lines from a movie is "Baby all you have to do is wake up in the morning and I'll take it from there" (Madea's Diary of a Mad Black Women. That right there is what you're worth, did you know that?

It's not until we've had our share of bad relationships and good one that we not only realize but be open enough to accept our worth. It doesn't take a man or anyone else to show you your worth, it's something you discover over the years. It's sad that for some of us it takes a lot of heart ache, baggage, and NAS rampages to find it, but rest assure you will. We will all reach different levels and layers of our worth being revealed to us. For me I am just starting to unwrap pieces of what that looks like. Today at this moment I am certain that I am worth peace...simply stated,which I compare to the feeling you get sitting by the water, perfect scenery, perfect background song, that moment where you just take it all in and smile for no reason. right now, today I know that I am worth peace when it comes to my relationships. I'm not talking about the drama free, he's acting right peace, but the kind of peace where you allow yourself to be unaffected...I'm not saying that you don't feel anything or get hurt, but you no longer give anyone else that power over you. Lol, for those of you who have indulged at some point in your life time having a "brown cigarette looking thing..." where you just feel good for no damn reason, and you're not thinking about anything at the moment, and everything is so damn cool. That's the level of peace that I'm worth. I'm sure as I get older I'll discover even more of my worth, baby steps. But days like today where something inspires you to have a revelation, like hearing about the woman who's man said, now its your turn...pick you house, and her accepting that because at 40plus she knew her worth, days like today are groundbreaking.

What you're worth at work... (to be continued)