I met someone recently that inspired me to push beyond my comfort zone. Not to toot my own horn, but I am really smart and have the potential to do some really great things, but what holds me back is my inability to do things that I am not passionante about. The truth is when you spend the majority of your life doing things that you think you are "supposed" to be doing, you forget that in order for you to be truly happy, you have to be living inside of your passion!
These past couple of weeks I've been re-establising my relationship with my passion. I lost it a while ago, it was covered by so much nonsense that I'm not sure I'd even recognize it when I saw it, but now I am rediscovering what it feels like to be passionate about something. It doesn't feel like work, it feels like your lifes purpose, what you were meant to do!
This fall I'll be having several quiet nights at home with a glass or two of wine, rekindling my relationship with my passion and I am certain that the end result will be something that will change my life.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I Can't Find My Glasses...
It's 3:00am and I just came in from a really great night out with the girls. I really wasn't feeling like hanging out at first but anyone who knows me, it doesn't take much for me to get the party going, right!
So my day was filled with much optimism. My latest commitment to myself is to remain positive despite what's actually in front of me, but I tell you sometimes things block your focus so much that you can't see past it, and everything that seemed good no longer looked the same when reality makes its appearance. I'm a good person, but not perfect to say the least, but I love my friends and family and they know I'd do anything for them, I'm surrounded by good people, because I'm a good person, but every once in a while...you get people that cross your path, that you really want to see the good in them, but they make it so hard to.
I've been faced with so many uncertainties this past year. Alot of take it or leave it circumstances. I've tried to be purposeful about that I take or leave, but it seems to become more and more difficult at every juncture. I pray on it, for days on end, but from out of nowhere my heart is always faced with something my head can't comprehend...Should I take it....or should I leave it? Sometimes conviction grabs me by the hand and says keep it moving, but my heart is so heavy and still believes in happy endings...how can you ask a passionate woman to stop believing in happy endings? Remember when you found out that there was no Santa Claus and no Tooth Fairy...well that's what it feels like when you find out that there's a possibility that you may never find your one true love.
I care about the people in my life so much, that when I see them hurting it hurts me to my core. I know firsthand what it feels like to be sick of games, and of having patience, and waiting...but I'm stronger than most and rationalize those feelings by consuming myself with some other activities...but the truth is I feel those same things, my friends are feeling, I just don't feel like it does me any good to dwell on it, so I...as a true Scorpoio would do...keep it moving. But those rare times that I stand still and let life happen I'm always taken back to wanting something so much at this juncture in your life and not having any control over when you'll get it.
I'll admit, that I have an unreasonalble amount of demands when it comes to my life partner, but I'm so certain of what I have to offer that those things seems so simple. I'm so amazed at this so called "dating game" it's the lamest thing I've ever encountered...How can you strategize and plan around how to capture or break another persons heart? Please people, pay attention to your actions and what you do and say to people, what may seem like a gain to you at that moment may be a loss to someone else. If I've ever been so sure about something in my life, it's that I am so not interested...in the games. I don't participate in things that I don't understand. Some of this is pure venting, but the rest is asking people to take accountability for your actions, you're are dealing with real life human beings, if you didn't realize that, and while you're operating under a "it's all about me" mentality you could be doing some serious damange to the other person.
I have to be present to that myself as well, which is why I am never the one to waste anyones time, and at times when I may seem blunt, that's me being real with you. I'd rather not lead anyone on, and would much prefer to just say what's real...
I cannot say enough about the people in my life that know me and genuinely love me...and I name this blog as such b/c they know I am visually challenged and when I can't find my glasses and got something I need to see, that's serious!
Thus, the title of my entire blog, you have to have a purpose in my life, if you don't and are not aligned with what I'm committed to, then please do me a favor and don't take up space...
So my day was filled with much optimism. My latest commitment to myself is to remain positive despite what's actually in front of me, but I tell you sometimes things block your focus so much that you can't see past it, and everything that seemed good no longer looked the same when reality makes its appearance. I'm a good person, but not perfect to say the least, but I love my friends and family and they know I'd do anything for them, I'm surrounded by good people, because I'm a good person, but every once in a while...you get people that cross your path, that you really want to see the good in them, but they make it so hard to.
I've been faced with so many uncertainties this past year. Alot of take it or leave it circumstances. I've tried to be purposeful about that I take or leave, but it seems to become more and more difficult at every juncture. I pray on it, for days on end, but from out of nowhere my heart is always faced with something my head can't comprehend...Should I take it....or should I leave it? Sometimes conviction grabs me by the hand and says keep it moving, but my heart is so heavy and still believes in happy endings...how can you ask a passionate woman to stop believing in happy endings? Remember when you found out that there was no Santa Claus and no Tooth Fairy...well that's what it feels like when you find out that there's a possibility that you may never find your one true love.
I care about the people in my life so much, that when I see them hurting it hurts me to my core. I know firsthand what it feels like to be sick of games, and of having patience, and waiting...but I'm stronger than most and rationalize those feelings by consuming myself with some other activities...but the truth is I feel those same things, my friends are feeling, I just don't feel like it does me any good to dwell on it, so I...as a true Scorpoio would do...keep it moving. But those rare times that I stand still and let life happen I'm always taken back to wanting something so much at this juncture in your life and not having any control over when you'll get it.
I'll admit, that I have an unreasonalble amount of demands when it comes to my life partner, but I'm so certain of what I have to offer that those things seems so simple. I'm so amazed at this so called "dating game" it's the lamest thing I've ever encountered...How can you strategize and plan around how to capture or break another persons heart? Please people, pay attention to your actions and what you do and say to people, what may seem like a gain to you at that moment may be a loss to someone else. If I've ever been so sure about something in my life, it's that I am so not interested...in the games. I don't participate in things that I don't understand. Some of this is pure venting, but the rest is asking people to take accountability for your actions, you're are dealing with real life human beings, if you didn't realize that, and while you're operating under a "it's all about me" mentality you could be doing some serious damange to the other person.
I have to be present to that myself as well, which is why I am never the one to waste anyones time, and at times when I may seem blunt, that's me being real with you. I'd rather not lead anyone on, and would much prefer to just say what's real...
I cannot say enough about the people in my life that know me and genuinely love me...and I name this blog as such b/c they know I am visually challenged and when I can't find my glasses and got something I need to see, that's serious!
Thus, the title of my entire blog, you have to have a purpose in my life, if you don't and are not aligned with what I'm committed to, then please do me a favor and don't take up space...
Friday, August 14, 2009
Because it Feels Good!
These past couple of weeks I've had this different feeling. I've finally made peace with things I'd been holding on to from my past, been really clear about what I want and where I'm headed and have spent some real good time alone and it feels good!
Sometimes I don't think people take the time to check-in with themselves in the moment and realize that they are in a good place. We often spend so much time stressing, with sporadic moments of feeling good that we can't even identify when we're in that good place. If you want more moments of feeling good, you have to notice it when you're in it.
There are quite a few things in my life that make me feel good; a glass of wine on a stressful day, the feeling after a good workout, being with my girls, honoring the commitments I've made to myself and sticking with them, putting in Dwele b/c it's feel good music, waking up on Saturday mornings with nowhere that I "have" to be, being around my family, etc...So my prescription is to include as much of these things as often as possible in my life.
Distractions
It's so easy for something or someone to take you out of your happy place! There are so many things to filter through every day. People cross our paths and we questions their intentions, situations happen that stress us out and we dwell on them for days. I say, let it go! Guess what? when this happens you have a choice....you can go back to your happy place or you can sit on it and let it fester. Really settle into what it feels like to feel good, what is your head telling you in that moment? where is your heart? who are you surrounded by or spending your time with? what did you do this week that contributed to where you are in this moment? once you identify the things that got you to that place, make them a staple in your life!
We all have bad days, it's somewhat disturbing when I sign onto Facebook and see the overwhelming amount of stressful posts people have. They far outnumber the positive ones. I will be the first to admit that I've been guilty of it as well. It's ok to acknowledge not being in a good place, but why put that out there, focus on how to get to a better place for the rest of the day. I've heard sayings that "there is power in the tongue", when you speak something, there is power in putting that out there. So if you're giving energy to having a bad day, guess what the rest of your day will be like? If you wake up in the morning and say this is going to be a great day, look at where that energy is being placed?
Life happens...shit happens...and then what? I am far from where I am meant to be, but what I am certain of is what makes me feel good. And at this point in my life I'm smart enough to identify the things that make me meel good AND are good for me at the same time. I've started writing again, because it feels good, I am at work right now, b/c it feels good to have a job, I am committed to only feeling good, even during the times when it seems impossible.
Sometimes I don't think people take the time to check-in with themselves in the moment and realize that they are in a good place. We often spend so much time stressing, with sporadic moments of feeling good that we can't even identify when we're in that good place. If you want more moments of feeling good, you have to notice it when you're in it.
There are quite a few things in my life that make me feel good; a glass of wine on a stressful day, the feeling after a good workout, being with my girls, honoring the commitments I've made to myself and sticking with them, putting in Dwele b/c it's feel good music, waking up on Saturday mornings with nowhere that I "have" to be, being around my family, etc...So my prescription is to include as much of these things as often as possible in my life.
Distractions
It's so easy for something or someone to take you out of your happy place! There are so many things to filter through every day. People cross our paths and we questions their intentions, situations happen that stress us out and we dwell on them for days. I say, let it go! Guess what? when this happens you have a choice....you can go back to your happy place or you can sit on it and let it fester. Really settle into what it feels like to feel good, what is your head telling you in that moment? where is your heart? who are you surrounded by or spending your time with? what did you do this week that contributed to where you are in this moment? once you identify the things that got you to that place, make them a staple in your life!
We all have bad days, it's somewhat disturbing when I sign onto Facebook and see the overwhelming amount of stressful posts people have. They far outnumber the positive ones. I will be the first to admit that I've been guilty of it as well. It's ok to acknowledge not being in a good place, but why put that out there, focus on how to get to a better place for the rest of the day. I've heard sayings that "there is power in the tongue", when you speak something, there is power in putting that out there. So if you're giving energy to having a bad day, guess what the rest of your day will be like? If you wake up in the morning and say this is going to be a great day, look at where that energy is being placed?
Life happens...shit happens...and then what? I am far from where I am meant to be, but what I am certain of is what makes me feel good. And at this point in my life I'm smart enough to identify the things that make me meel good AND are good for me at the same time. I've started writing again, because it feels good, I am at work right now, b/c it feels good to have a job, I am committed to only feeling good, even during the times when it seems impossible.
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