Who knew that at the tender age of 28, I would still be trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Sometimes the not so gentle reality hits me and I realize that I'm already "all grown up", then I panic because maybe this is something I should've settled on already. But then my more calm, less controlling self chimes in and reminds me that I am " a work in progress" we all are. There is no point of completion when it comes to defining what's to come of your life...career...love life...etc...As long as you're traveling on a road that's continuously moving, you're on the right track.
What's become clear to me, is that I can't define my path, God has to do that for me. He puts things in front of us and people in our path that are meant to affect who we are and where we're going. For me, there are three essential elements that you should incorporate into your life plan and look out for to further define what you and God are working to create:
1. Your Inner Circle - Substance and Quality are key when it comes to the people you surround yourself with. You can have 158,896.2 Facebook friends, but of them how many can contribute anything to your life as a person, a woman/man, your spirituality, health, career, your soul? Keep counting, I can wait...What you'll find is that there are very few and if there are some, have you taken the time to reach out to them to begin to foster a connection that's more meaningful than occasionally replying to each others wall post? There are people out there, they have the career you want or that have connections that can get you there, people who may be your soul mate, or have have a relationship with God and can help you get closer. Build strong allies with you inner circle, help them help you! God puts people in front of us for a reason, determine what their purpose is in your life and latch on to that and create the inevitable - what God has planned for you.
2. Don't Come Up for Air - You have to keep going! Yes, you got your degree...what else, Yes, you've found your husband...what else...yes you love your job..what else? There is ALWAYS something else. Never be content in just "good enough". Imagine how much more you can do? Yes, navigating through everything and figuring out what's next is difficult but keep at it...because you'll never truly be fulfilled until you get there. The journey is what gets my adrenaline going! I get amped up off of what's to come, knowing that there's something next...It's a great feeling when you don't know what to expect, but you know its going to be something great...like a surprise party. Make that list, and keep checking things off - when you get to a point where you're having trouble figuring out what else...because you've accomplished EVERYTHING, that's a good place to be in, but it's still not over, because there's always something else!
3. You Deserve It! Sometimes we get so caught up in doing, that we don't take the time to reflect what we've accomplished and how much we deserve do much more! I'm not narcissistic or anything, but sometimes I have to stop and tell myself, girl, you're the shit! and I don't mean physically, but mentally, spiritually, emotionally, all that! I look at how far I've come, and I revel in the fact that, here I am, so much more closer to the woman I've always dreamed of becoming. It's funny, the other day at the gas station this older gentleman, maybe in his 60's, middle class looking guy was pumping his gas, and said "how are you doing sister?" and I replied, "fine", he said " you are really beautiful". I don't know what but I'm always surprised when people say that to me. And he wasn't saying that to flirt or anything, he just wanted me to know. Sometimes I think that's God sending us friendly reminders...
I'm no expert in life, but I know a little about a lot of things. I use these things to move me forward and I always like to share where I am i the process. I hope this brings you closer to answering that question you're 1st grade teacher asked you decades ago...What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Act Like A Lady...Think Like A Lady!
I get frown lines on my forehead just typing that title, because it makes me think of how much I despise the idea of a 40/50 something year old...divorced...comedian writing a book trying to school women on how to think and act. Before you go on your rampage, my friends tell me...read the book...! Ok, maybe they're right, before you go to judge you should do your research...yeah, but my semi-feminist/women centric spirit, won't let me!
As I've gotten older, I've seen some drastic changes in the way I think about men. I think growing up you tend to look at men as these foreign creatures that are so unlike us and so hard to figure out. What's funny, is now, it's just the opposite for me, they're so easy to read and now I look at them as little boys...trying to find their way through the world and figure out how to be men! They are traveling the same journey as women are and when we can start to look at them as "human" is when we'll get them.
Ladies, what makes us so special is that we are indeed ladies! Why would you want to think like a man? That's not intrinsically who we are? It goes against the laws of nature and it encourages us to create this persona or way of thinking that's not true to who we are! You read this book and take in depth notes of how you "should" act or think like a man to get...what result? What will thinking like a man get you? You'll practice those techniques and they may work for a while, but what happens when your "true-self" comes out? Because it will.
When the frenzy about this new book hit the market, women were sleeping with it next to their beds like it was a bible! Ladies, what type of direction are you looking for that you'd hold this book in such high regard. Now, I'm by no means saying that Steve Harvey is not a credible source...it's just his opinions right? and I'm not saying that his book is any different from any other self help books, but there's something so disempowering to me about a book that encourages women to not be what God intended for them to be...WOMEN.
There is a reason why men love us so much, why all of our quirks and imperfections are so beautiful to them, why change that? There are so many empowering things woman can practice, that can help them become better women! Better women to themselves first! Then better mothers, sisters and friends...
Here are my self help tips:
1. Act Like a Lady...Think Like a Lady...
That's it!
As I've gotten older, I've seen some drastic changes in the way I think about men. I think growing up you tend to look at men as these foreign creatures that are so unlike us and so hard to figure out. What's funny, is now, it's just the opposite for me, they're so easy to read and now I look at them as little boys...trying to find their way through the world and figure out how to be men! They are traveling the same journey as women are and when we can start to look at them as "human" is when we'll get them.
Ladies, what makes us so special is that we are indeed ladies! Why would you want to think like a man? That's not intrinsically who we are? It goes against the laws of nature and it encourages us to create this persona or way of thinking that's not true to who we are! You read this book and take in depth notes of how you "should" act or think like a man to get...what result? What will thinking like a man get you? You'll practice those techniques and they may work for a while, but what happens when your "true-self" comes out? Because it will.
When the frenzy about this new book hit the market, women were sleeping with it next to their beds like it was a bible! Ladies, what type of direction are you looking for that you'd hold this book in such high regard. Now, I'm by no means saying that Steve Harvey is not a credible source...it's just his opinions right? and I'm not saying that his book is any different from any other self help books, but there's something so disempowering to me about a book that encourages women to not be what God intended for them to be...WOMEN.
There is a reason why men love us so much, why all of our quirks and imperfections are so beautiful to them, why change that? There are so many empowering things woman can practice, that can help them become better women! Better women to themselves first! Then better mothers, sisters and friends...
Here are my self help tips:
1. Act Like a Lady...Think Like a Lady...
That's it!
1 is NOT the loneliest number!
We often get caught up in comfort zones that can cause us to loose ourselves. Feeling the need to always need to be around people, or do things with people or have someone by your side at all times, is not healthy. I've always been a loner, but I have indeed been wrapped up before in being comfortable not being alone, which made my time alone akward. When I look back I realize that some of my most peaceful, most enjoyable moments have been those where I've been alone! I fuss at one of my friends about being comfortable being by herself, until she can learn to do that she will never really be happy. Some of us stay in unhealthy relationships and keep the company of not so great friends from a fear of being alone. Hey! it's ok, really. Do you know what happens when you're alone? Reflection, Epiphanies, Clarity...silence. I love silence! Sometimes I find myself indulging in it when I'm around other people, and they ask, why are you so quiet, why not? Silence can make some people feel uncomfortable, but there's something to be said when you can be around someone who gets it and is ok with those silent moments~who can still connect with you and your energy when you're silent. There are few people in my life, that get that...my best friend I think is one of the only people who does.
I went away to college alone, not knowing anyone and walked away from that situation with some great friends, a great education and some of the best memories of my life. I navigated through my career alone! And have built some great professional relationships and made some great moves. I bought my first place alone! There are so many things that I've done alone and have had so much significance on who I am.
You cannot hold yourself back waiting on someone else to be there for you/with you...you have to keep it moving. If you want to travel...go! Maybe you'll make some new friends! If you want to go to dinner alone...go! and order that desert w/o having someone sitting across from you judging you...lol. Having people in your life is great, but don't depend on them to Make Life Happen, that's up to you!
I always say, that I am a work in progress, I have to remind myself of these things everyday! But, as with anything in life, it's a process - and as long as I am present to it all I'll get there.
I went away to college alone, not knowing anyone and walked away from that situation with some great friends, a great education and some of the best memories of my life. I navigated through my career alone! And have built some great professional relationships and made some great moves. I bought my first place alone! There are so many things that I've done alone and have had so much significance on who I am.
You cannot hold yourself back waiting on someone else to be there for you/with you...you have to keep it moving. If you want to travel...go! Maybe you'll make some new friends! If you want to go to dinner alone...go! and order that desert w/o having someone sitting across from you judging you...lol. Having people in your life is great, but don't depend on them to Make Life Happen, that's up to you!
I always say, that I am a work in progress, I have to remind myself of these things everyday! But, as with anything in life, it's a process - and as long as I am present to it all I'll get there.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Life happens when you stand still and listen.
I remember when I used to dream. Id get so excited and get these butterflies in my stomach and my heart would smile. Id literally fall in love in that moment and would become so motivated. I had something to look forward to. Whatever happened to that feeling? I give much credit to waking up every morning, but the monotony of life has consumed be and I don't know how to get out. I watch the people around me and I can feel in there spirit that they're on cloud nine...I become envious of their happiness and frustrated with myself that I cant create my own. Whats a dream worth without a plan? I need a plan I keep telling myself...a plan...need to plan to plan. I digress...because what I've recently discovered is that u cant plan life...u have to live it. We let so many things get in the way of living...work...friends...relationships...family...finances. Guess what life goes on with or without those things. I know what happiness feels like, butterflies, anxiousness, motivation, ambition...My goal is to start by stealing small moments of that...then days..weeks and so on until I get closer to my happiness.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Rekindling my relationship with my Passion
I met someone recently that inspired me to push beyond my comfort zone. Not to toot my own horn, but I am really smart and have the potential to do some really great things, but what holds me back is my inability to do things that I am not passionante about. The truth is when you spend the majority of your life doing things that you think you are "supposed" to be doing, you forget that in order for you to be truly happy, you have to be living inside of your passion!
These past couple of weeks I've been re-establising my relationship with my passion. I lost it a while ago, it was covered by so much nonsense that I'm not sure I'd even recognize it when I saw it, but now I am rediscovering what it feels like to be passionate about something. It doesn't feel like work, it feels like your lifes purpose, what you were meant to do!
This fall I'll be having several quiet nights at home with a glass or two of wine, rekindling my relationship with my passion and I am certain that the end result will be something that will change my life.
These past couple of weeks I've been re-establising my relationship with my passion. I lost it a while ago, it was covered by so much nonsense that I'm not sure I'd even recognize it when I saw it, but now I am rediscovering what it feels like to be passionate about something. It doesn't feel like work, it feels like your lifes purpose, what you were meant to do!
This fall I'll be having several quiet nights at home with a glass or two of wine, rekindling my relationship with my passion and I am certain that the end result will be something that will change my life.
I Can't Find My Glasses...
It's 3:00am and I just came in from a really great night out with the girls. I really wasn't feeling like hanging out at first but anyone who knows me, it doesn't take much for me to get the party going, right!
So my day was filled with much optimism. My latest commitment to myself is to remain positive despite what's actually in front of me, but I tell you sometimes things block your focus so much that you can't see past it, and everything that seemed good no longer looked the same when reality makes its appearance. I'm a good person, but not perfect to say the least, but I love my friends and family and they know I'd do anything for them, I'm surrounded by good people, because I'm a good person, but every once in a while...you get people that cross your path, that you really want to see the good in them, but they make it so hard to.
I've been faced with so many uncertainties this past year. Alot of take it or leave it circumstances. I've tried to be purposeful about that I take or leave, but it seems to become more and more difficult at every juncture. I pray on it, for days on end, but from out of nowhere my heart is always faced with something my head can't comprehend...Should I take it....or should I leave it? Sometimes conviction grabs me by the hand and says keep it moving, but my heart is so heavy and still believes in happy endings...how can you ask a passionate woman to stop believing in happy endings? Remember when you found out that there was no Santa Claus and no Tooth Fairy...well that's what it feels like when you find out that there's a possibility that you may never find your one true love.
I care about the people in my life so much, that when I see them hurting it hurts me to my core. I know firsthand what it feels like to be sick of games, and of having patience, and waiting...but I'm stronger than most and rationalize those feelings by consuming myself with some other activities...but the truth is I feel those same things, my friends are feeling, I just don't feel like it does me any good to dwell on it, so I...as a true Scorpoio would do...keep it moving. But those rare times that I stand still and let life happen I'm always taken back to wanting something so much at this juncture in your life and not having any control over when you'll get it.
I'll admit, that I have an unreasonalble amount of demands when it comes to my life partner, but I'm so certain of what I have to offer that those things seems so simple. I'm so amazed at this so called "dating game" it's the lamest thing I've ever encountered...How can you strategize and plan around how to capture or break another persons heart? Please people, pay attention to your actions and what you do and say to people, what may seem like a gain to you at that moment may be a loss to someone else. If I've ever been so sure about something in my life, it's that I am so not interested...in the games. I don't participate in things that I don't understand. Some of this is pure venting, but the rest is asking people to take accountability for your actions, you're are dealing with real life human beings, if you didn't realize that, and while you're operating under a "it's all about me" mentality you could be doing some serious damange to the other person.
I have to be present to that myself as well, which is why I am never the one to waste anyones time, and at times when I may seem blunt, that's me being real with you. I'd rather not lead anyone on, and would much prefer to just say what's real...
I cannot say enough about the people in my life that know me and genuinely love me...and I name this blog as such b/c they know I am visually challenged and when I can't find my glasses and got something I need to see, that's serious!
Thus, the title of my entire blog, you have to have a purpose in my life, if you don't and are not aligned with what I'm committed to, then please do me a favor and don't take up space...
So my day was filled with much optimism. My latest commitment to myself is to remain positive despite what's actually in front of me, but I tell you sometimes things block your focus so much that you can't see past it, and everything that seemed good no longer looked the same when reality makes its appearance. I'm a good person, but not perfect to say the least, but I love my friends and family and they know I'd do anything for them, I'm surrounded by good people, because I'm a good person, but every once in a while...you get people that cross your path, that you really want to see the good in them, but they make it so hard to.
I've been faced with so many uncertainties this past year. Alot of take it or leave it circumstances. I've tried to be purposeful about that I take or leave, but it seems to become more and more difficult at every juncture. I pray on it, for days on end, but from out of nowhere my heart is always faced with something my head can't comprehend...Should I take it....or should I leave it? Sometimes conviction grabs me by the hand and says keep it moving, but my heart is so heavy and still believes in happy endings...how can you ask a passionate woman to stop believing in happy endings? Remember when you found out that there was no Santa Claus and no Tooth Fairy...well that's what it feels like when you find out that there's a possibility that you may never find your one true love.
I care about the people in my life so much, that when I see them hurting it hurts me to my core. I know firsthand what it feels like to be sick of games, and of having patience, and waiting...but I'm stronger than most and rationalize those feelings by consuming myself with some other activities...but the truth is I feel those same things, my friends are feeling, I just don't feel like it does me any good to dwell on it, so I...as a true Scorpoio would do...keep it moving. But those rare times that I stand still and let life happen I'm always taken back to wanting something so much at this juncture in your life and not having any control over when you'll get it.
I'll admit, that I have an unreasonalble amount of demands when it comes to my life partner, but I'm so certain of what I have to offer that those things seems so simple. I'm so amazed at this so called "dating game" it's the lamest thing I've ever encountered...How can you strategize and plan around how to capture or break another persons heart? Please people, pay attention to your actions and what you do and say to people, what may seem like a gain to you at that moment may be a loss to someone else. If I've ever been so sure about something in my life, it's that I am so not interested...in the games. I don't participate in things that I don't understand. Some of this is pure venting, but the rest is asking people to take accountability for your actions, you're are dealing with real life human beings, if you didn't realize that, and while you're operating under a "it's all about me" mentality you could be doing some serious damange to the other person.
I have to be present to that myself as well, which is why I am never the one to waste anyones time, and at times when I may seem blunt, that's me being real with you. I'd rather not lead anyone on, and would much prefer to just say what's real...
I cannot say enough about the people in my life that know me and genuinely love me...and I name this blog as such b/c they know I am visually challenged and when I can't find my glasses and got something I need to see, that's serious!
Thus, the title of my entire blog, you have to have a purpose in my life, if you don't and are not aligned with what I'm committed to, then please do me a favor and don't take up space...
Friday, August 14, 2009
Because it Feels Good!
These past couple of weeks I've had this different feeling. I've finally made peace with things I'd been holding on to from my past, been really clear about what I want and where I'm headed and have spent some real good time alone and it feels good!
Sometimes I don't think people take the time to check-in with themselves in the moment and realize that they are in a good place. We often spend so much time stressing, with sporadic moments of feeling good that we can't even identify when we're in that good place. If you want more moments of feeling good, you have to notice it when you're in it.
There are quite a few things in my life that make me feel good; a glass of wine on a stressful day, the feeling after a good workout, being with my girls, honoring the commitments I've made to myself and sticking with them, putting in Dwele b/c it's feel good music, waking up on Saturday mornings with nowhere that I "have" to be, being around my family, etc...So my prescription is to include as much of these things as often as possible in my life.
Distractions
It's so easy for something or someone to take you out of your happy place! There are so many things to filter through every day. People cross our paths and we questions their intentions, situations happen that stress us out and we dwell on them for days. I say, let it go! Guess what? when this happens you have a choice....you can go back to your happy place or you can sit on it and let it fester. Really settle into what it feels like to feel good, what is your head telling you in that moment? where is your heart? who are you surrounded by or spending your time with? what did you do this week that contributed to where you are in this moment? once you identify the things that got you to that place, make them a staple in your life!
We all have bad days, it's somewhat disturbing when I sign onto Facebook and see the overwhelming amount of stressful posts people have. They far outnumber the positive ones. I will be the first to admit that I've been guilty of it as well. It's ok to acknowledge not being in a good place, but why put that out there, focus on how to get to a better place for the rest of the day. I've heard sayings that "there is power in the tongue", when you speak something, there is power in putting that out there. So if you're giving energy to having a bad day, guess what the rest of your day will be like? If you wake up in the morning and say this is going to be a great day, look at where that energy is being placed?
Life happens...shit happens...and then what? I am far from where I am meant to be, but what I am certain of is what makes me feel good. And at this point in my life I'm smart enough to identify the things that make me meel good AND are good for me at the same time. I've started writing again, because it feels good, I am at work right now, b/c it feels good to have a job, I am committed to only feeling good, even during the times when it seems impossible.
Sometimes I don't think people take the time to check-in with themselves in the moment and realize that they are in a good place. We often spend so much time stressing, with sporadic moments of feeling good that we can't even identify when we're in that good place. If you want more moments of feeling good, you have to notice it when you're in it.
There are quite a few things in my life that make me feel good; a glass of wine on a stressful day, the feeling after a good workout, being with my girls, honoring the commitments I've made to myself and sticking with them, putting in Dwele b/c it's feel good music, waking up on Saturday mornings with nowhere that I "have" to be, being around my family, etc...So my prescription is to include as much of these things as often as possible in my life.
Distractions
It's so easy for something or someone to take you out of your happy place! There are so many things to filter through every day. People cross our paths and we questions their intentions, situations happen that stress us out and we dwell on them for days. I say, let it go! Guess what? when this happens you have a choice....you can go back to your happy place or you can sit on it and let it fester. Really settle into what it feels like to feel good, what is your head telling you in that moment? where is your heart? who are you surrounded by or spending your time with? what did you do this week that contributed to where you are in this moment? once you identify the things that got you to that place, make them a staple in your life!
We all have bad days, it's somewhat disturbing when I sign onto Facebook and see the overwhelming amount of stressful posts people have. They far outnumber the positive ones. I will be the first to admit that I've been guilty of it as well. It's ok to acknowledge not being in a good place, but why put that out there, focus on how to get to a better place for the rest of the day. I've heard sayings that "there is power in the tongue", when you speak something, there is power in putting that out there. So if you're giving energy to having a bad day, guess what the rest of your day will be like? If you wake up in the morning and say this is going to be a great day, look at where that energy is being placed?
Life happens...shit happens...and then what? I am far from where I am meant to be, but what I am certain of is what makes me feel good. And at this point in my life I'm smart enough to identify the things that make me meel good AND are good for me at the same time. I've started writing again, because it feels good, I am at work right now, b/c it feels good to have a job, I am committed to only feeling good, even during the times when it seems impossible.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Dear....University, thanks for the Degree, but, can I please get my Money Back!
For many recent graduates the stress on the economy has had a significant impact on their dreams. Most of them entered college 4 years ago, believing in Meritocracy (i.e. working hard will pay off). Four years later they walk across the stage with a degree in hand but no job offers in sight. Now they are thrust out into the world with thousands of dollars in school loans and no income.
Well, what about the seasoned young professionals who at the peak of their careers have been laid off with no prospects of rebounding. At this point for both the novel graduates and the alumnus the investment that they thought they were making into their future is not looking so sound.
The value of a college degree for most is immeasurable, especially for minorities, who several decades ago would not have been afforded the opportunity. However, dreams have been deferred but the loans have not. For those who have been out of jobs for over a year, the search has become intolerable. To make ends meet most have taken on jobs as servers and in retail. What do you do, who do you turn to? Job seekers need to get creative about how to find jobs, simply sending in a resume won't do.
While writing your University that letter the get your money back for that degree you're not using, here are some tips that may help find work in a difficult economy.
The first thing you need to do is map out a plan. not just one where you count how many resumes you've sent out in a given day, but a plan that has strategic steps that will guide you to your ultimate goal, finding a job! One that's measurable and has clear steps and a timeline.
Drink away your stress at Networking Events
So, I'm sure stress is your number one enemy right now, so alcohol has become your best friend, right. Find out what networking events are going on in your field and attend them. You can likely find info on these via professional organizations in your field - check their websites. Second, join social networking sites liked Linked In (www.linkedin.com) and connect with people in your field and find out if they know of any industry events that are going on in your area. Lastly, use your connections via Facebook, Linked In, etc...and set-up lunch meeting and grab a quick drink with someone in your field and pick their brain. The quickest way to find a job these days is via networking. If someone inside the company can vouch for you, you have an internal cheerleader and you'll get the edge over other candidates.
Freelance/Contract Work
Just because you're not working does not mean that you should not continue to master your craft. Make sure you are keeping up with the current trends in your field and checking out what the company's you're interested in working in are doing. Everyday you should be preparing yourself for "THAT" opportunity. Whatever one you've been waiting for all your life, so when it comes...you're more than prepared. While companies are laying off there is still work that needs to be done and some may consider bringing in a freelance or contract employee as an alternative to a full-time one. That way you can do some project work for them as an independent contractor and they don't have to commit to hire you full-time. This is also a great way to build your resume while looking for a job. Market yourself as a consultant, freelancer or independent contractor looking for project work. Contact employers letting them know that you are available for contract work. Highlight for them the benefits of bringing in a contractor. Not only is this a great way to make some cash while job hunting but it can also get your foot in the door with several companies who will have seen your work firsthand.
Join a professional organization/Volunteer
Surround yourself with your peers and those working in your field by joining a professional organization. These organizations offer resources that can help you get closer to finding a job. Attend the organizations' workshops, events and volunteer programs get to know the people you're working with, let them know that you're looking. Also, most corporation have foundations or charities that they support, find out what those are and volunteer. You'll find the Chairman or VP at those volunteer events. What better way to connect with them?
These are just a few ways to get creative and strategic about finding a job. I know it's hard and its frustrating, but there not testimony without a test right?
Well, what about the seasoned young professionals who at the peak of their careers have been laid off with no prospects of rebounding. At this point for both the novel graduates and the alumnus the investment that they thought they were making into their future is not looking so sound.
The value of a college degree for most is immeasurable, especially for minorities, who several decades ago would not have been afforded the opportunity. However, dreams have been deferred but the loans have not. For those who have been out of jobs for over a year, the search has become intolerable. To make ends meet most have taken on jobs as servers and in retail. What do you do, who do you turn to? Job seekers need to get creative about how to find jobs, simply sending in a resume won't do.
While writing your University that letter the get your money back for that degree you're not using, here are some tips that may help find work in a difficult economy.
The first thing you need to do is map out a plan. not just one where you count how many resumes you've sent out in a given day, but a plan that has strategic steps that will guide you to your ultimate goal, finding a job! One that's measurable and has clear steps and a timeline.
Drink away your stress at Networking Events
So, I'm sure stress is your number one enemy right now, so alcohol has become your best friend, right. Find out what networking events are going on in your field and attend them. You can likely find info on these via professional organizations in your field - check their websites. Second, join social networking sites liked Linked In (www.linkedin.com) and connect with people in your field and find out if they know of any industry events that are going on in your area. Lastly, use your connections via Facebook, Linked In, etc...and set-up lunch meeting and grab a quick drink with someone in your field and pick their brain. The quickest way to find a job these days is via networking. If someone inside the company can vouch for you, you have an internal cheerleader and you'll get the edge over other candidates.
Freelance/Contract Work
Just because you're not working does not mean that you should not continue to master your craft. Make sure you are keeping up with the current trends in your field and checking out what the company's you're interested in working in are doing. Everyday you should be preparing yourself for "THAT" opportunity. Whatever one you've been waiting for all your life, so when it comes...you're more than prepared. While companies are laying off there is still work that needs to be done and some may consider bringing in a freelance or contract employee as an alternative to a full-time one. That way you can do some project work for them as an independent contractor and they don't have to commit to hire you full-time. This is also a great way to build your resume while looking for a job. Market yourself as a consultant, freelancer or independent contractor looking for project work. Contact employers letting them know that you are available for contract work. Highlight for them the benefits of bringing in a contractor. Not only is this a great way to make some cash while job hunting but it can also get your foot in the door with several companies who will have seen your work firsthand.
Join a professional organization/Volunteer
Surround yourself with your peers and those working in your field by joining a professional organization. These organizations offer resources that can help you get closer to finding a job. Attend the organizations' workshops, events and volunteer programs get to know the people you're working with, let them know that you're looking. Also, most corporation have foundations or charities that they support, find out what those are and volunteer. You'll find the Chairman or VP at those volunteer events. What better way to connect with them?
These are just a few ways to get creative and strategic about finding a job. I know it's hard and its frustrating, but there not testimony without a test right?
Friday, July 24, 2009
I am Who I Say I Am.
We are all works in progress. I have to remind myself of that daily. We spend most of our young adult lives trying to figure ourselves out and stay true to who we "think" we are, which can change overnight...We face life circumstances and run into situations that question our integrity, our character and the person that we've known outselves to be, but what's important is that we are present to being who we say we are.
I am a full blown scropio, I am passionate, amibitous, persistent, stubborn, observant, inquisitive and yes, I've accepted that I can also be mean at times. But, the great thing is, I am present to all of that and apologize for none of it. What my biggest pet peeve about people is when they create this ideal "self" in their minds that doesn't always translate into their "real" self.
When I meet new people, I am extremely observant, I pay close attention to what comes out of their mouths and what their actions say. This is difficult to do, because the mind can play tricks on you. If someone tells you something and does something different your mind references what was said, then at that point the confusion surfaces and its a mess! I think one of the biggest issues in any relationship, whether its work, family or love, is COMMUNICATION. People are not saying how they "really" feel for whatever reason. Whether they're trying to spare someones feelings, be politically correct or save face. Now don't get me wrong there should always be filters, but let's master the art of saying what you need to say with finesse, instead of mastering the art of bullshitting.
"It's not you it's me"
"We've decide to go in a different direction"
"I'm busy"
"I've made my decision...but are you ok with that?"
"I can't make it...I have to work late, or wash my hair, or etc..."
These are what I call bullshit phrases. These are things people say, when they don't really want to say what's real. Saying that it is in your character to be an honest person, dependable, kind hearted and considerate does not translate if you use these phrases. How about instead of, "it's not you. it's me", say we just aren't a good fit. Or instead of an employer saying we've decided to go in a different direction, say you're just not what we're looking for...and don't say you're busy, just say that that's just not something you're interested in taking time out for right now. At first this sounds easy and some of us are reluctant to even pay close enough attention to the fact that we're saying these things. But when you are present to what you're saying and realize that what you say to people is a reflection of who you claim to be, our communication with one another will improve.
You know how people always say, i want to get to know you, not your representative...imagine if people showed up as themselves...? Crazy idea right? What if it didn't take 6 months for you to get to know who someone really was? Ladies what if a guy showed up and laid it all out on the table, imperfections and all? and what if women would just say what they wanted and who they really were in the beginning instead of expecting guys to read their minds or see their unpleasant side, distrustful side later?
If we outline for ourselves...this is who I want to be. And I'm talking about character not professionally. I want to be an honest person, I want my actions to speak for themselves, I want to be driven, etc... In addition, be clear about who you are right now and how your everyday actions reflect that. Don't say I'm a honest person, then tell a lie in the next hour, or say I am driven, then quit something w/o even really trying. Be present to that, if you are honest, when the time comes where you have to choose between lying and telling the truth (with finesse), say to yourself I am commited to being who I say I am, so...
We need to do better, we spend a lot of time focusing on our careers, families and other life commitments. We need to make our character a focus as well. It defines who you are inside of your life commitments. If you don't find yourself you will lose yourself. If you're not clear about who you are, how can you expect anyone else to get to know you.
It's ok, to not be there yet, it takes some people a lifetime to get there. But it has to start somewhere, right?
I am a full blown scropio, I am passionate, amibitous, persistent, stubborn, observant, inquisitive and yes, I've accepted that I can also be mean at times. But, the great thing is, I am present to all of that and apologize for none of it. What my biggest pet peeve about people is when they create this ideal "self" in their minds that doesn't always translate into their "real" self.
When I meet new people, I am extremely observant, I pay close attention to what comes out of their mouths and what their actions say. This is difficult to do, because the mind can play tricks on you. If someone tells you something and does something different your mind references what was said, then at that point the confusion surfaces and its a mess! I think one of the biggest issues in any relationship, whether its work, family or love, is COMMUNICATION. People are not saying how they "really" feel for whatever reason. Whether they're trying to spare someones feelings, be politically correct or save face. Now don't get me wrong there should always be filters, but let's master the art of saying what you need to say with finesse, instead of mastering the art of bullshitting.
"It's not you it's me"
"We've decide to go in a different direction"
"I'm busy"
"I've made my decision...but are you ok with that?"
"I can't make it...I have to work late, or wash my hair, or etc..."
These are what I call bullshit phrases. These are things people say, when they don't really want to say what's real. Saying that it is in your character to be an honest person, dependable, kind hearted and considerate does not translate if you use these phrases. How about instead of, "it's not you. it's me", say we just aren't a good fit. Or instead of an employer saying we've decided to go in a different direction, say you're just not what we're looking for...and don't say you're busy, just say that that's just not something you're interested in taking time out for right now. At first this sounds easy and some of us are reluctant to even pay close enough attention to the fact that we're saying these things. But when you are present to what you're saying and realize that what you say to people is a reflection of who you claim to be, our communication with one another will improve.
You know how people always say, i want to get to know you, not your representative...imagine if people showed up as themselves...? Crazy idea right? What if it didn't take 6 months for you to get to know who someone really was? Ladies what if a guy showed up and laid it all out on the table, imperfections and all? and what if women would just say what they wanted and who they really were in the beginning instead of expecting guys to read their minds or see their unpleasant side, distrustful side later?
If we outline for ourselves...this is who I want to be. And I'm talking about character not professionally. I want to be an honest person, I want my actions to speak for themselves, I want to be driven, etc... In addition, be clear about who you are right now and how your everyday actions reflect that. Don't say I'm a honest person, then tell a lie in the next hour, or say I am driven, then quit something w/o even really trying. Be present to that, if you are honest, when the time comes where you have to choose between lying and telling the truth (with finesse), say to yourself I am commited to being who I say I am, so...
We need to do better, we spend a lot of time focusing on our careers, families and other life commitments. We need to make our character a focus as well. It defines who you are inside of your life commitments. If you don't find yourself you will lose yourself. If you're not clear about who you are, how can you expect anyone else to get to know you.
It's ok, to not be there yet, it takes some people a lifetime to get there. But it has to start somewhere, right?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Jack Your Body vs. Poppin' Bottles ~ When a party was a party
The days of the 2-step are in full force. With DJ's that don't stray far from the the Top 40 and Club Owners that are more concerned about the color of their crowd than creating atmospheres that are about in its simplest form....partying, the Chicago party scene as we know it, is becoming extinct.
Today's party scene is saturated with fly by night promoters and an overabundance of options. Deciding where to party on a Friday night is more difficult than deciding whether or not to have a C section or natural child birth! There is no easy answer and there are so many factors on which to base your decision. What makes one party stand out from another? What happened do dance floors, do they still exist? and why does a bottle of alcohol cost as much as last months cell phone bill?
To pay or not to pay....that's the question
Since when has partying become rocket science? Free before 10pm, then $10 before 11pm, but if you RSVP with your social security number you can get on the list, which means that you get a discount at the door, which we can't tell you right now what it is, but you'll need to print our the confirmation email and bring it with you to even be considered for entry...OK, wait now what now? When I'm ready to unwind from a long week of working who wants to have to remember all of this? If you work as hard as I do, at 5pm on Friday my brain shuts down, and the only thing that's left to think about is if I'm drinking light or dark liquor tonight! For most people when it comes to partying they could care less about what the cover is...as long as they know that they are guaranteed to have a good time. The event planner in me would suggest that the most successful parties are the ones that are consistent. Find a mix of elements that work and then build your following. Throw a weekly party at the same venue, for the same price, with the same DJ and the people will come out. The best form of marketing is not via e-blasts, facebook, myspace, etc...it's word of mouth. The first place people will think about going the next week is the last place they remember having a good time. Clubs, like any other business owner, need to make their customers' experience memorable. This is how you create customer loyalty and brand awareness.
There's another one right down the street!
The old mantra, first impressions are everything still hold true when it comes to business and marketing. When you have an event, its about the complete experience from beginning to end. This begins at the door! If your guests are greeted with mean mugging bouncers, ego maniac promoters and are ushered into the club like a herd of elephants, what do you think they'll expect the rest of their experience will be like? The reality is, there is another club right down the street that's offering the same thing you are. Your guests are just that...guests. They are your clients, customers and essentially should be treated like family. They should feel welcomed. The goal here is for them to come back again and again and again. You want your guests to develop the "Cheers" mentality, "where everybody knows your name". Where regulars are valued and newcomers are embraced. What makes your party special is not the fancy font you use on your flyers, or the celeb you get to host/make an appearance at your party, or the catchy slogan you use to get peoples attention when they're sifting through their spam mail. What makes your party special is the no line, no wait, the DJ that you can't stand b/c he's making you sweat your hair out but love b/c he's forcing you to put that 9 to 5 up on the shelf, the club owner that knows you by name b/c he sat at the bar and took shots with you last week, and the well worth it hangover you have the day after.
Pop a bottle to pop that bootie
Pay to play has taken on a whole new meaning when it comes to the business of throwing parties. While it is certainly a viable means of making additional income, the goal has shifted from throwing parties to making money. When your goal is the simply the latter its a recipe for disaster. I'll admit as a woman I've gotten off easy when it came to having to shell out a lot of money at clubs. But when I got wind that they were charging guys $40 and upwward to $80 bucks to get in, I figured out the reason why the women ALWAYS outnumber the men in the club...it's b/c most working men are not going to pay the high priced admission. Once you're in, your next mission is to get into VIP, because that is truly where the party is at. If you are buying a bottle (well nowadays its more like a 2 bottle minimum)you do not have to stand in line, you don't pay a cover, you get the undivided attention of a cocktail waitress, the DJ will shout you are your guests out all night, and you will get a personal visit from the manager or promoter. All while the general admission guests stare upon you from the stagnant dance floor wishing they could join the party.
While I'm getting close to the age where I'm almost the old chick in the club...I still have hope that the days of the Sinibar, Biology Bar, Red Line, Funky Buddha, Slicks, Minx's, etc... will resurface and give us back the PARTY. The $10 all night, the eternal girls night out spot, the you already know where I'm going to be at spot, the I can't wear that this week b/c I wore it last week spot, the I got stories for days about that spot, the every picture I got is in front of that same wall at the club spot, the I got my cardio in for the week in one night spot....the I don't care if I'm almost 30, I still want to jack my body spot.
Bring us back our party spot!
Today's party scene is saturated with fly by night promoters and an overabundance of options. Deciding where to party on a Friday night is more difficult than deciding whether or not to have a C section or natural child birth! There is no easy answer and there are so many factors on which to base your decision. What makes one party stand out from another? What happened do dance floors, do they still exist? and why does a bottle of alcohol cost as much as last months cell phone bill?
To pay or not to pay....that's the question
Since when has partying become rocket science? Free before 10pm, then $10 before 11pm, but if you RSVP with your social security number you can get on the list, which means that you get a discount at the door, which we can't tell you right now what it is, but you'll need to print our the confirmation email and bring it with you to even be considered for entry...OK, wait now what now? When I'm ready to unwind from a long week of working who wants to have to remember all of this? If you work as hard as I do, at 5pm on Friday my brain shuts down, and the only thing that's left to think about is if I'm drinking light or dark liquor tonight! For most people when it comes to partying they could care less about what the cover is...as long as they know that they are guaranteed to have a good time. The event planner in me would suggest that the most successful parties are the ones that are consistent. Find a mix of elements that work and then build your following. Throw a weekly party at the same venue, for the same price, with the same DJ and the people will come out. The best form of marketing is not via e-blasts, facebook, myspace, etc...it's word of mouth. The first place people will think about going the next week is the last place they remember having a good time. Clubs, like any other business owner, need to make their customers' experience memorable. This is how you create customer loyalty and brand awareness.
There's another one right down the street!
The old mantra, first impressions are everything still hold true when it comes to business and marketing. When you have an event, its about the complete experience from beginning to end. This begins at the door! If your guests are greeted with mean mugging bouncers, ego maniac promoters and are ushered into the club like a herd of elephants, what do you think they'll expect the rest of their experience will be like? The reality is, there is another club right down the street that's offering the same thing you are. Your guests are just that...guests. They are your clients, customers and essentially should be treated like family. They should feel welcomed. The goal here is for them to come back again and again and again. You want your guests to develop the "Cheers" mentality, "where everybody knows your name". Where regulars are valued and newcomers are embraced. What makes your party special is not the fancy font you use on your flyers, or the celeb you get to host/make an appearance at your party, or the catchy slogan you use to get peoples attention when they're sifting through their spam mail. What makes your party special is the no line, no wait, the DJ that you can't stand b/c he's making you sweat your hair out but love b/c he's forcing you to put that 9 to 5 up on the shelf, the club owner that knows you by name b/c he sat at the bar and took shots with you last week, and the well worth it hangover you have the day after.
Pop a bottle to pop that bootie
Pay to play has taken on a whole new meaning when it comes to the business of throwing parties. While it is certainly a viable means of making additional income, the goal has shifted from throwing parties to making money. When your goal is the simply the latter its a recipe for disaster. I'll admit as a woman I've gotten off easy when it came to having to shell out a lot of money at clubs. But when I got wind that they were charging guys $40 and upwward to $80 bucks to get in, I figured out the reason why the women ALWAYS outnumber the men in the club...it's b/c most working men are not going to pay the high priced admission. Once you're in, your next mission is to get into VIP, because that is truly where the party is at. If you are buying a bottle (well nowadays its more like a 2 bottle minimum)you do not have to stand in line, you don't pay a cover, you get the undivided attention of a cocktail waitress, the DJ will shout you are your guests out all night, and you will get a personal visit from the manager or promoter. All while the general admission guests stare upon you from the stagnant dance floor wishing they could join the party.
While I'm getting close to the age where I'm almost the old chick in the club...I still have hope that the days of the Sinibar, Biology Bar, Red Line, Funky Buddha, Slicks, Minx's, etc... will resurface and give us back the PARTY. The $10 all night, the eternal girls night out spot, the you already know where I'm going to be at spot, the I can't wear that this week b/c I wore it last week spot, the I got stories for days about that spot, the every picture I got is in front of that same wall at the club spot, the I got my cardio in for the week in one night spot....the I don't care if I'm almost 30, I still want to jack my body spot.
Bring us back our party spot!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Letting the Past dictate your Future
This was particularly interesting weekend for me. These days it seems like every weekend is...This weekend my past came back to haunt me, as it was the anniversary of one of the most painful times in my life.
Over the years I've developed a pretty tough exterior, but have yet to conquer what's really going on inside, which often results in a temporary shut-down - causing me to relive something that I've repressed. One of my weaknesses is my faith in people. If someone new comes into my life that I get a sense of good energy from, I completely open up to them and as a result I am completely trusting and have faith that outside of anything else, they are "good people". Well history has proven me wrong on several occassions, not neccesarily telling me that these weren't good people, but that I probably shouldn't have that much faith in people. I can't help to think that people are innately "good", but what I am learning is that everyone has their own agenda and you may not be privy to what's on it, and as a result somewhere in the mix, signals will get crossed and someone will get disappointed.
We often get caught up in our pasts, which means we really haven't addressed those feelings or completly let them go. As a result we project those stale feelings onto others. Anything can trigger them. This weekend mine were definitely triggered, which put a dagger into where I already was in that moment and made it tens times worse. Today I realize that I sabotaged myself, re-opening a door to something that probably should've stayed closed and inviting something into my life that is not in line with what's good for me right now...
I allowed something from a year ago, bring me back to a place I should've never revisited. Why do we go back to those feelings, maybe b/c we never really dealt with them or b/c we see ourselves headed to that same place, that caused us to be in that situation in the first place. Sometimes we don't realize that we perpetuate cycles, we get so used to a particular behavior within ourselves and in other people, that we unconsciously act that out over and over again in our lives. God could put everything in front of us showing us that you do not want to go down that road again, but we will continue to forge through as if he hadn't said anything at all. Well last night he slapped me across the face...and send me a message loud and clear.
The past is exactly that, the past. When you've let go of something don't go looking for it again. There's a reason that it no longer exists as a part of your life. Think of how much better your life is b/c that thing or person is not in it! Letting the past dictate your future is a set-up for failure. Live your life for tomorrow and not yesterday, last month or last year. There are so many great things yet to come.
Over the years I've developed a pretty tough exterior, but have yet to conquer what's really going on inside, which often results in a temporary shut-down - causing me to relive something that I've repressed. One of my weaknesses is my faith in people. If someone new comes into my life that I get a sense of good energy from, I completely open up to them and as a result I am completely trusting and have faith that outside of anything else, they are "good people". Well history has proven me wrong on several occassions, not neccesarily telling me that these weren't good people, but that I probably shouldn't have that much faith in people. I can't help to think that people are innately "good", but what I am learning is that everyone has their own agenda and you may not be privy to what's on it, and as a result somewhere in the mix, signals will get crossed and someone will get disappointed.
We often get caught up in our pasts, which means we really haven't addressed those feelings or completly let them go. As a result we project those stale feelings onto others. Anything can trigger them. This weekend mine were definitely triggered, which put a dagger into where I already was in that moment and made it tens times worse. Today I realize that I sabotaged myself, re-opening a door to something that probably should've stayed closed and inviting something into my life that is not in line with what's good for me right now...
I allowed something from a year ago, bring me back to a place I should've never revisited. Why do we go back to those feelings, maybe b/c we never really dealt with them or b/c we see ourselves headed to that same place, that caused us to be in that situation in the first place. Sometimes we don't realize that we perpetuate cycles, we get so used to a particular behavior within ourselves and in other people, that we unconsciously act that out over and over again in our lives. God could put everything in front of us showing us that you do not want to go down that road again, but we will continue to forge through as if he hadn't said anything at all. Well last night he slapped me across the face...and send me a message loud and clear.
The past is exactly that, the past. When you've let go of something don't go looking for it again. There's a reason that it no longer exists as a part of your life. Think of how much better your life is b/c that thing or person is not in it! Letting the past dictate your future is a set-up for failure. Live your life for tomorrow and not yesterday, last month or last year. There are so many great things yet to come.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
What's Your Number, What's Your Sign?
This year is the first time in 6 years, that I've been single and let me tell you it's indeed a dating game. Over the past year, I think I may have met every type of guy there is; and the end result has either been the wrong guy at the right time, the right guy at the wrong time, the guy that's just looking for a good time or that guy that's not good for any time. More often than not I find myself begin happy with no guy at any time!
I'm at a point in my life where substance is everything, but unfortunately in this day and age there's so much pretense, dishonesty and ingenuity out there with both men and women. I find that women spend so much time talking about what they don't want in a man and and men spend so much time not being ready. For those of us inching up on the "dirty thirties", I'm sure you can relate with one of these:
Women
1. The "I'm too sexy for my dress" girl
The quintessential "pretty girl"; looks good on your arm, but you'd pay her to not say a word! These women have lots going for them on the surface, they're pretty, educated, seemingly independent, no kids. However, what's seems great on the surface does not necessarily translate on the inside. More often than not this woman is needy, while she can afford to take care of herself, she much rather prefer for you to take her to only the best restaurants, will only sit in VIP in the club and expects nice gifts and trips as a standard. She has more baggage than your normal woman and will be remind you every time she sees you how you must right the wrongs of the past men in her life. A typical conversation with her will most likely be about the latest reality show on BET or the celebrity you all saw out in the club the week before. For most guys, this won't last long. While her looks will spark their interest it likely won't go any deeper than that.
2. The Down to Earth, wifey material, but not right now girl
"I love her cause she got her own". This girl has everything going for her, nice looking, got some swagger, educated, you can talk to her about anything, hanging with her is like hanging with one of the guys. she's damn near everything you were looking for, but....damn your just not ready. It's likely that the guy will try to keep things basic with her and not go too deep b/c he knows where it will head...but he just can't seem to let her go. Eventually, she'll catch feelings and he won't be ready to commit b/c he doesn't want to end up hurting her. She'll decide to walk away disappointed, but both will keep each other in the back of their minds as a future option and wonder what could've come from it.
3. The bitter, all men are dogs, but I still want one...bad girl
These women are always ranting and raving about how there are no good men out there, but are the first ones in line at the club with their freakum girl dress on! She's fly, and she knows it and will tell you the first time she meets you. Most conversations with her will be about her exe's. She'll have some stalker tendencies and will show her jealous side early on. For most guys this will be a red flag, and they'll scatter quicker than a family of roaches when you cut the lights on. She'll earn a bad rep as the "crazy chic" and she'll be wonder why guys stopped approaching her.
Men
1. The R&B dude (got this title from a friend)
Someone once said to me that they hate it when they go to the club and see guys in suits standing at the bar swirling around a glass of wine, they don't dance, and will stare a women down, but will never go talk to her. This is that guy that wears sun glasses in the club and will only buy a bottle if that means he can be surrounded by some pretty girls. It's likely that he's spending his rent money on the bottle, but for him it's an investment, right? This is the guy that us ladies meet when we're out he's fine and sexy and appears to have his stuff together. He's saying all the right things and even forgos the 3 day or more wait before he calls you. He calls that Monday in the afternoon asking to take you to lunch! Great, right? Yes, until he starts the story about how he works in "construction" and how his mom is "living with him" and how his 3 month old baby is the love of his life. Some women may choose to stick it out, why not give him a chance right? Well it's likely that 3 months later, he's moved in with you, is out of work and wants you to babysit his kid. Ok I rambled a bit on this one, but believe it or not, these men DO exist, lol.
2. The "One", who refuses to commit, and will be ready as soon as.....
Ok, so finally, it's happened, you've met the guy who has just about everything you've always wanted. He's attractive, ambitious, intelligent, street smart, well traveled, career oriented, charming, has great friends and family and he's like your best friend, you've opened up to him in ways that you haven't with anyone else. So what's the catch? "I enjoy spending time with you, I really like you, but...I'm just not ready" he says. WTF, we think to ourselves right? While most women beg for honesty and now we get that, we refuse to just walk away from this. So as we start picking out dresses for our weddings 1 month into dating, he's showing you better than he can tell you that's he's not ready. After trying to hang in there for a while, we realize that the only one who'll get hurt in this scenario is us, so we reluctantly take 10 steps back. This guy is likely to hold his ground and is not really concerned about finding the one, b/c he knows he's a catch. In some cases if you were the right one, when they're ready they'll have you in the lineup...lol But for the most part for them it'll be out of site out of mind.
3. The Love your Dirty Drawls guy.
This guy is cool, he's always there for you when you need him, maybe he wasn't your type at first, but you grew to like him. While you've been waiting for someone to give you that attention that you deserve, this guy may be pushing it. He calls you at least 6 times a day, this includes a text a 7am right when you're hitting the snooze button. He wants to spend every weekend with you, takes you on trips, takes you to all his family functions, your mom is crazy about him, he tells you how beautiful you are daily, he send you flowers at work, remembers what your favorite color is, make plans for you two to do thing 3 months out...Sound wonderful huh? Yeah, but there's just something about him....that just doesn't do it for you. These men are the ones that say, you women will have a good man right in front of you, but you walk around here saying that are the good ones are taken. He's waving his flag in air, saying "Here I am". But, yeah no, he's still not doing it for you. For some women its about more than that, it's about who captures your attention, then captures your heart, then makes you work for it, then gives you back even more. Women want love, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that easy. Love is at its best when you're both vulnerable and it feels good just as much as it hurts. Whats successful without struggle right? We will end up leaving this guy, b/c he's just no the "One". However some women will keep him on speed dial, when their egos need to be fed or when they're lonely.
Disclaimer: This are all "hypothetical" people based on stories that I've heard, so do with them what you will...lol
I walk away from this feeling like we've all played one of these characters at some point and can probably identify with one if not all of them. For me and relationships I always find myself analyzing the person, whether if it's to pull a lesson from that experience or re-evaluate what it is I'm looking for. But what I have to always remind myself of is that people are individuals there are no two people alike. Dating is about getting to know the person and whether or not you "organically" match, it should just "feel" right.
There are 2 things, that I value in this whole dating thing, My number - I DO NOT give my number nor a fake number out just for the hell of it or just b/c a guy asks. I only do so if I am genuinely interested in someone and if something about them intrigued me. Oh and I delete numbers too, if this isn't going anywhere and we've both established that's its best to let it go, then the number gets deleted. The second thing is...What's your sign? Every time I meet a guy and tell my mom about him, the first question she asks is what's his sign, from there she goes on to tell me whether or not its going to work. At first I thought she was crazy, but eventually I realized, that she was always on point! So now I always ask What's you sign? not that it dictates my relationship with that person, but I believe that while you're in the process of getting to know someone, it can give you a glimpse into what to expect.
So, my almost thirty lady friends, don't get frustrated and discouraged, God has made something especially for YOU, And when he feels like you're ready for him, he will give him to you.
And for the fellas, ok, you got your stuff together, but remember a good women, "that one" only comes around once in a lifetime, so while you're launching your third business venture or planning your next guys trip, you may be missing out on Gods gift to you...
Happy Dating people!
I'm at a point in my life where substance is everything, but unfortunately in this day and age there's so much pretense, dishonesty and ingenuity out there with both men and women. I find that women spend so much time talking about what they don't want in a man and and men spend so much time not being ready. For those of us inching up on the "dirty thirties", I'm sure you can relate with one of these:
Women
1. The "I'm too sexy for my dress" girl
The quintessential "pretty girl"; looks good on your arm, but you'd pay her to not say a word! These women have lots going for them on the surface, they're pretty, educated, seemingly independent, no kids. However, what's seems great on the surface does not necessarily translate on the inside. More often than not this woman is needy, while she can afford to take care of herself, she much rather prefer for you to take her to only the best restaurants, will only sit in VIP in the club and expects nice gifts and trips as a standard. She has more baggage than your normal woman and will be remind you every time she sees you how you must right the wrongs of the past men in her life. A typical conversation with her will most likely be about the latest reality show on BET or the celebrity you all saw out in the club the week before. For most guys, this won't last long. While her looks will spark their interest it likely won't go any deeper than that.
2. The Down to Earth, wifey material, but not right now girl
"I love her cause she got her own". This girl has everything going for her, nice looking, got some swagger, educated, you can talk to her about anything, hanging with her is like hanging with one of the guys. she's damn near everything you were looking for, but....damn your just not ready. It's likely that the guy will try to keep things basic with her and not go too deep b/c he knows where it will head...but he just can't seem to let her go. Eventually, she'll catch feelings and he won't be ready to commit b/c he doesn't want to end up hurting her. She'll decide to walk away disappointed, but both will keep each other in the back of their minds as a future option and wonder what could've come from it.
3. The bitter, all men are dogs, but I still want one...bad girl
These women are always ranting and raving about how there are no good men out there, but are the first ones in line at the club with their freakum girl dress on! She's fly, and she knows it and will tell you the first time she meets you. Most conversations with her will be about her exe's. She'll have some stalker tendencies and will show her jealous side early on. For most guys this will be a red flag, and they'll scatter quicker than a family of roaches when you cut the lights on. She'll earn a bad rep as the "crazy chic" and she'll be wonder why guys stopped approaching her.
Men
1. The R&B dude (got this title from a friend)
Someone once said to me that they hate it when they go to the club and see guys in suits standing at the bar swirling around a glass of wine, they don't dance, and will stare a women down, but will never go talk to her. This is that guy that wears sun glasses in the club and will only buy a bottle if that means he can be surrounded by some pretty girls. It's likely that he's spending his rent money on the bottle, but for him it's an investment, right? This is the guy that us ladies meet when we're out he's fine and sexy and appears to have his stuff together. He's saying all the right things and even forgos the 3 day or more wait before he calls you. He calls that Monday in the afternoon asking to take you to lunch! Great, right? Yes, until he starts the story about how he works in "construction" and how his mom is "living with him" and how his 3 month old baby is the love of his life. Some women may choose to stick it out, why not give him a chance right? Well it's likely that 3 months later, he's moved in with you, is out of work and wants you to babysit his kid. Ok I rambled a bit on this one, but believe it or not, these men DO exist, lol.
2. The "One", who refuses to commit, and will be ready as soon as.....
Ok, so finally, it's happened, you've met the guy who has just about everything you've always wanted. He's attractive, ambitious, intelligent, street smart, well traveled, career oriented, charming, has great friends and family and he's like your best friend, you've opened up to him in ways that you haven't with anyone else. So what's the catch? "I enjoy spending time with you, I really like you, but...I'm just not ready" he says. WTF, we think to ourselves right? While most women beg for honesty and now we get that, we refuse to just walk away from this. So as we start picking out dresses for our weddings 1 month into dating, he's showing you better than he can tell you that's he's not ready. After trying to hang in there for a while, we realize that the only one who'll get hurt in this scenario is us, so we reluctantly take 10 steps back. This guy is likely to hold his ground and is not really concerned about finding the one, b/c he knows he's a catch. In some cases if you were the right one, when they're ready they'll have you in the lineup...lol But for the most part for them it'll be out of site out of mind.
3. The Love your Dirty Drawls guy.
This guy is cool, he's always there for you when you need him, maybe he wasn't your type at first, but you grew to like him. While you've been waiting for someone to give you that attention that you deserve, this guy may be pushing it. He calls you at least 6 times a day, this includes a text a 7am right when you're hitting the snooze button. He wants to spend every weekend with you, takes you on trips, takes you to all his family functions, your mom is crazy about him, he tells you how beautiful you are daily, he send you flowers at work, remembers what your favorite color is, make plans for you two to do thing 3 months out...Sound wonderful huh? Yeah, but there's just something about him....that just doesn't do it for you. These men are the ones that say, you women will have a good man right in front of you, but you walk around here saying that are the good ones are taken. He's waving his flag in air, saying "Here I am". But, yeah no, he's still not doing it for you. For some women its about more than that, it's about who captures your attention, then captures your heart, then makes you work for it, then gives you back even more. Women want love, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that easy. Love is at its best when you're both vulnerable and it feels good just as much as it hurts. Whats successful without struggle right? We will end up leaving this guy, b/c he's just no the "One". However some women will keep him on speed dial, when their egos need to be fed or when they're lonely.
Disclaimer: This are all "hypothetical" people based on stories that I've heard, so do with them what you will...lol
I walk away from this feeling like we've all played one of these characters at some point and can probably identify with one if not all of them. For me and relationships I always find myself analyzing the person, whether if it's to pull a lesson from that experience or re-evaluate what it is I'm looking for. But what I have to always remind myself of is that people are individuals there are no two people alike. Dating is about getting to know the person and whether or not you "organically" match, it should just "feel" right.
There are 2 things, that I value in this whole dating thing, My number - I DO NOT give my number nor a fake number out just for the hell of it or just b/c a guy asks. I only do so if I am genuinely interested in someone and if something about them intrigued me. Oh and I delete numbers too, if this isn't going anywhere and we've both established that's its best to let it go, then the number gets deleted. The second thing is...What's your sign? Every time I meet a guy and tell my mom about him, the first question she asks is what's his sign, from there she goes on to tell me whether or not its going to work. At first I thought she was crazy, but eventually I realized, that she was always on point! So now I always ask What's you sign? not that it dictates my relationship with that person, but I believe that while you're in the process of getting to know someone, it can give you a glimpse into what to expect.
So, my almost thirty lady friends, don't get frustrated and discouraged, God has made something especially for YOU, And when he feels like you're ready for him, he will give him to you.
And for the fellas, ok, you got your stuff together, but remember a good women, "that one" only comes around once in a lifetime, so while you're launching your third business venture or planning your next guys trip, you may be missing out on Gods gift to you...
Happy Dating people!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Finding Your Center...
Most dancers know that one of the most challenging things about dance is finding your center. In dance your center is the basis for everything, you cannot master any moves without it. I think of life in the same vein. Life is all about finding your center, when you're off balance, not focused you will fall off of your center and sometimes that means taking a few moments to re-focus before you move forward.
There are three times out of the year, where I loose control and begin to exhibit some self-destructive behavior. Most of the time it's when all of the things I'd been holding in for months finally find their way to my brain and/or heart and escape from my body and cause me to loose my center. I do things that are out of character, sabotage relationships; I let stress get the best of me and I loose sight of the small things that are essential to me getting closer to my goals. To make matters even worse, I am my own worse critic, so when my center is off I beat myself up about it.
Finding your center again...
When everything seems out of place and you've made one too many mistakes over a short period of time it's hard to figure out how you can get back on track and leave all of those things behind. What I have to remind myself of every day is that I am human and that the only person that I am accountable for is me. So when my life spirals out of control, I am the one who has to put back the pieces.
One of things that I do to find my center is have a retreat for myself. This means taking a few days to spend some time with myself, not being caught up at work, in other peoples lives and drama, not worrying about what's going on around me, getting into my daily routine with a clear mind and lastly doing a few things that offer me a sense of peace. For me that's working out and taking walks. This retreat begins with me taking a vacay from the world as it is in that moment to get a sense of what it needs to be in the next. It ends with me getting clear about what it feels like to be in that space where I've lost my center, dealing with those feelings that got me to that place and letting go of them. It ends with my clearing out any negative energy around me and drawing into my life positivity and peace.
I know all of this may sound like something from a self-help book. But my way of making sense out of the moments in my life that have an impact on who I am is by putting things into this kind of perspective.
My center is a place where I feel secure, have some clear direction and know that I am living my life organically and with purpose.
Today is day one of me regaining all of this...I am finding my center.
There are three times out of the year, where I loose control and begin to exhibit some self-destructive behavior. Most of the time it's when all of the things I'd been holding in for months finally find their way to my brain and/or heart and escape from my body and cause me to loose my center. I do things that are out of character, sabotage relationships; I let stress get the best of me and I loose sight of the small things that are essential to me getting closer to my goals. To make matters even worse, I am my own worse critic, so when my center is off I beat myself up about it.
Finding your center again...
When everything seems out of place and you've made one too many mistakes over a short period of time it's hard to figure out how you can get back on track and leave all of those things behind. What I have to remind myself of every day is that I am human and that the only person that I am accountable for is me. So when my life spirals out of control, I am the one who has to put back the pieces.
One of things that I do to find my center is have a retreat for myself. This means taking a few days to spend some time with myself, not being caught up at work, in other peoples lives and drama, not worrying about what's going on around me, getting into my daily routine with a clear mind and lastly doing a few things that offer me a sense of peace. For me that's working out and taking walks. This retreat begins with me taking a vacay from the world as it is in that moment to get a sense of what it needs to be in the next. It ends with me getting clear about what it feels like to be in that space where I've lost my center, dealing with those feelings that got me to that place and letting go of them. It ends with my clearing out any negative energy around me and drawing into my life positivity and peace.
I know all of this may sound like something from a self-help book. But my way of making sense out of the moments in my life that have an impact on who I am is by putting things into this kind of perspective.
My center is a place where I feel secure, have some clear direction and know that I am living my life organically and with purpose.
Today is day one of me regaining all of this...I am finding my center.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
If Women Spent More Time Getting Money than Worrying About Their Relationships We'd Be Rich!
Tuesday night out with the girls was fabulous! Some Sangria's, great food and disturbing conversation. More often than not when my and my girls get together we rant on and on about the men in our lives or men in general, relationships and anything else that has to with the opposite sex. While my purpose of the night was to indulge in some "liquid deliciousness" to de-stress, I too fell into a deep fixation on trying to figure this relationship thing out. In 3 hours we covered everything from past loves to current loves to future loves, leaving nothing behind. As I took a second from our engaging dialogue, which I felt was garnering a little too much attention with our bursts of laughter, dramatic hand gestures and thoughtful reactions to one another, I looked around the room to find 6 other tables of women who seemed to be enthralled in similar conversations. At the moment the energy and the vibe in the room grew heavy and dreary! Why were we all spending a beautiful night out amongst friends talking about men!!!!
When I went home that night, I thought about all of the topics that could been covered at our table as well as those of my fellow single women....business ventures, investments, fashion, current events. Why did we all spend so much time reliving our past relationships? and our pessimism about future ones. I thought to myself, if we spent as much time talking about business that we did on relationships we'd be rich!
We live in the day in age where more young professional women are finding more value in nurturing a family than a career. While we all have moved through the ranks of higher education, Corporate America and have indulged ourselves in philanthropy, we've come to a point where other things start to become more important to us. One of the problems is that there are too many of us that are ready and not enough men to go around that are on the same page. So many of us wander around in limbo going about life feeling like we have no control over what's next in our lives.
I have to admit that I'm guilty of it as well, but I am sick of all of my conversation with my girl friends being centered on relationships and men. Most of which is never good news. While I spend my day reserving my energy for business ideas, searching for second jobs, thinking about where my next vacation will be, that's all wasted with a 5 minute conversation with a friend with the moral of the story ending in N.A.S...Talk about an energy drainer.
My message to women in guess what men talk about when they're not around us....not us! Women we spend too much time focusing on other people, and not enough time on ourselves. We look for validation in our relationships that we don't even know how to validate ourselves or each other. Guess what, while you're wrecking your brain thinking about how to jump start your business idea or how you can improve on some kind of operation at work and about that new PhD program you were thinking about, your girl that you spent 3 hours on the phone with last night complaining about "Jethro" just started her own business, has some connections with some investors and just enrolled in a PhD program last fall...
All I'm saying is there is life outside of a man! What about you? and what you want. Stop worrying about why he won't commit, how about worrying about how you can commit to that project you started a year ago. Stop worrying about when you're going to get married, worry about when you're going to get discovered...Women has so much power, we need to focus our energy on that and NOT on trying to figure out how to get to Venus!
When I went home that night, I thought about all of the topics that could been covered at our table as well as those of my fellow single women....business ventures, investments, fashion, current events. Why did we all spend so much time reliving our past relationships? and our pessimism about future ones. I thought to myself, if we spent as much time talking about business that we did on relationships we'd be rich!
We live in the day in age where more young professional women are finding more value in nurturing a family than a career. While we all have moved through the ranks of higher education, Corporate America and have indulged ourselves in philanthropy, we've come to a point where other things start to become more important to us. One of the problems is that there are too many of us that are ready and not enough men to go around that are on the same page. So many of us wander around in limbo going about life feeling like we have no control over what's next in our lives.
I have to admit that I'm guilty of it as well, but I am sick of all of my conversation with my girl friends being centered on relationships and men. Most of which is never good news. While I spend my day reserving my energy for business ideas, searching for second jobs, thinking about where my next vacation will be, that's all wasted with a 5 minute conversation with a friend with the moral of the story ending in N.A.S...Talk about an energy drainer.
My message to women in guess what men talk about when they're not around us....not us! Women we spend too much time focusing on other people, and not enough time on ourselves. We look for validation in our relationships that we don't even know how to validate ourselves or each other. Guess what, while you're wrecking your brain thinking about how to jump start your business idea or how you can improve on some kind of operation at work and about that new PhD program you were thinking about, your girl that you spent 3 hours on the phone with last night complaining about "Jethro" just started her own business, has some connections with some investors and just enrolled in a PhD program last fall...
All I'm saying is there is life outside of a man! What about you? and what you want. Stop worrying about why he won't commit, how about worrying about how you can commit to that project you started a year ago. Stop worrying about when you're going to get married, worry about when you're going to get discovered...Women has so much power, we need to focus our energy on that and NOT on trying to figure out how to get to Venus!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
In a Vulnerable State of Mind~
Life happens and then what? When you grow up feeling like you u have no choice but to be in control of every situation, what do you do when you don't have control? I am strong minded, stubborn, persistent, ambitous and to a certain extent spoiled rotten and most of the women in my life are the same. Like me, they often struggle with letting go of that need for control and letting life happen. In my mind, vulnerability comes from suppressing your feelings, not having a say so, holding something in to the point that makes you feel helpless. I feel like everything is a direct reflection of the effort you put into it, so I go hard with whatever it is I decide I want. Sometimes we can be so convinced that something or someone is what we need or want for our lives, but without any assurance that that is so, we are left in a vulnerable state of mind. Vulnerablity makes me feel weak and if it's one thing I fear it's weakness. Right now the only solution I have for curing vulenerablity is to withdraw yourself from the situation to regain control of your feelings and your thoughts...But does having control mean that much to me that I'd be willing to risk accepting what God has in store for me?t'
Friday, June 19, 2009
Deeply Rooted Dance Theater
Here's is some footage of a phenomenal dance company that I worked for. If you ever wanted to truly experience the power of dance you must see this dance company!
Arts, Advocacy and Activism Workshop 2007
Here's a link to a workshop that I created while at the YWCA in partnership with the Institute for the Study of Women and Gender at Columbia College. Check it out!
http://chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=10643
http://chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=10643
She Speaks Volumes Poetry Slam 2007
Here is some footage of an event I created and managed that was featured on Chicago Public Radio. Enjoy!
http://www.chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=10965
http://www.chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=10965
About Me
Youngest daughter of LaTanya and Wayne Pleasant. Born on the 31st of October in Chicago, IL, Tanisha literally came into this world on her own. While mom and dad watched the basketball game on tv at the hospital, mom felt a dull pain and looked under the covers and there she was, looking up at her mom and silent. How she entered the world is a direct reflection on who she's become. A quiet behind the scenes powerhouse event planner, at the age of 27, Tanisha has created and managed events for some of Chicago's most valued instituions.
Tanisha received her B.A. in Speech Communications and African American Studies from the University of Illinois Champaign-Urbana, completed advanced coursework in Arts, Entertainment and Media Management at Columbia College Chicago and received her Masters of Business Administration and Marketing from Keller Graduate School at DeVry.
Early on Tanisha discovered her passion for the arts. She led her college dance team and choreographed for and managed one of the University's cultural dance workshops. Tanisha fostered her passion for the arts after college by joining the Joffrey Ballet as an intern in the Development department. From there she moved on to working as the Program Assistant for the DanceAfrica Chicago Festival at Columbia College. Falling in love with the people and business of the arts, in 2004, Tanisha accepted a position as Company Manager for Deeply Rooted Dance Theater. Working with Deeply Rooted was a life changing experience for the arts enthusiast. In addition to being enthralled in the management and operation of a growing non-profit, she also got a spiritual lesson in self-actualization, a concept based on the organizations mission. After a year, Tanisha was promoted to the Management Coordinator for the organization, working closely with the Executive Director to manage the organizations' financials, programs and day to day operations.
In 2005, Tanisha joined the Executive Offices of the YWCA of Metropolitan Chicago as the Development Coordinator and soon after promoted to the newly created Special Events Office position. While at the YWCA, Tanisha was responsible for created the She Speaks Volumes Poetry Slam and Fundraiser, an event that gave women a voice to talk about issues in race, gender and sexual violence. The event featured world Renowned poet Staceyann Chinn and various Def Poetry Jam artists. The event became one of the organizations most recognized events.
Tanisha moved on into the corporate arena to Macy's Chicago Flagship store as a Catering Event Specialist, managing high profile events for brands like Estee Lauder, Coach and Eileen Fischer. Today Tanisha worked as the Senior Events Coordinator for the University of Chicagos newly created Office of Event Services.
In 2006, Tanisha launched her own Special Events Consulting Company, Meridian Special Events, a company committed to creating and executing events driven by inspiration and engage audiences in ways that speak to the soul.
When she's not up to her knees in events ~ Tanisha enjoys being a self-proclaimend "Urban Girl", which involves getting dressed up and attending swanky events with her girlfriends, shopping and getting in touch with her inner gym junkie.
Tanisha received her B.A. in Speech Communications and African American Studies from the University of Illinois Champaign-Urbana, completed advanced coursework in Arts, Entertainment and Media Management at Columbia College Chicago and received her Masters of Business Administration and Marketing from Keller Graduate School at DeVry.
Early on Tanisha discovered her passion for the arts. She led her college dance team and choreographed for and managed one of the University's cultural dance workshops. Tanisha fostered her passion for the arts after college by joining the Joffrey Ballet as an intern in the Development department. From there she moved on to working as the Program Assistant for the DanceAfrica Chicago Festival at Columbia College. Falling in love with the people and business of the arts, in 2004, Tanisha accepted a position as Company Manager for Deeply Rooted Dance Theater. Working with Deeply Rooted was a life changing experience for the arts enthusiast. In addition to being enthralled in the management and operation of a growing non-profit, she also got a spiritual lesson in self-actualization, a concept based on the organizations mission. After a year, Tanisha was promoted to the Management Coordinator for the organization, working closely with the Executive Director to manage the organizations' financials, programs and day to day operations.
In 2005, Tanisha joined the Executive Offices of the YWCA of Metropolitan Chicago as the Development Coordinator and soon after promoted to the newly created Special Events Office position. While at the YWCA, Tanisha was responsible for created the She Speaks Volumes Poetry Slam and Fundraiser, an event that gave women a voice to talk about issues in race, gender and sexual violence. The event featured world Renowned poet Staceyann Chinn and various Def Poetry Jam artists. The event became one of the organizations most recognized events.
Tanisha moved on into the corporate arena to Macy's Chicago Flagship store as a Catering Event Specialist, managing high profile events for brands like Estee Lauder, Coach and Eileen Fischer. Today Tanisha worked as the Senior Events Coordinator for the University of Chicagos newly created Office of Event Services.
In 2006, Tanisha launched her own Special Events Consulting Company, Meridian Special Events, a company committed to creating and executing events driven by inspiration and engage audiences in ways that speak to the soul.
When she's not up to her knees in events ~ Tanisha enjoys being a self-proclaimend "Urban Girl", which involves getting dressed up and attending swanky events with her girlfriends, shopping and getting in touch with her inner gym junkie.
On...Becoming a Woman
Today, I realized that I am incredible!
Spending the past few years completing school, establishing a career and recently becoming single, I thought about the number of times I've read off my credentials to instituitons, employers and prospective companions. Today I overheard myself rambling off my accomplishments, status, etc... and thought to myself, is this really me? Did I do all of those things? Outside of my accomplishments I find myself grounded in a place where I know who I am, what I stand for, where I am in this moment, where I want to be in the next. That's a phenomenal feeling. Today, I realized that I am in love with the woman I've become.
While a work in progress the journey is one I now take with full strides forward instead of baby steps forward, with an agressive and positive energy that's guided by God. A journey that has me searching for what makes my heart smile, heart beat rapidly and mind filled with clarity.
After years of working with non-profits I learned the significance of developing mission statements. A mission statement is definied as a brief written statement of the purpose of a company or organization. Ideally, a mission statement guides the actions of the organization, spells out its overall goal, provides a sense of direction, and guides decision making for all levels of management.
At this juncture in my life, I've decided to write a mission statement for my life to provide me with a sense of direction and overall goal and guide my decision making. Now, mission statements go through numerous drafts before one is created that captures and reflects the organization or in this case the persons' purpose.
Draft:
Tanisha Pleasant,
Ambitous woman whose purpose is to lead a life driven by passion and integrity for my family, business ventures and community. Everything I do will be done with positive energy, must make me happy and followed through to completion. I will practice love, loyalty and patience to with my family. I will create a life for myself where I control my finances and career. I will devote time and resources to my community.
Spending the past few years completing school, establishing a career and recently becoming single, I thought about the number of times I've read off my credentials to instituitons, employers and prospective companions. Today I overheard myself rambling off my accomplishments, status, etc... and thought to myself, is this really me? Did I do all of those things? Outside of my accomplishments I find myself grounded in a place where I know who I am, what I stand for, where I am in this moment, where I want to be in the next. That's a phenomenal feeling. Today, I realized that I am in love with the woman I've become.
While a work in progress the journey is one I now take with full strides forward instead of baby steps forward, with an agressive and positive energy that's guided by God. A journey that has me searching for what makes my heart smile, heart beat rapidly and mind filled with clarity.
After years of working with non-profits I learned the significance of developing mission statements. A mission statement is definied as a brief written statement of the purpose of a company or organization. Ideally, a mission statement guides the actions of the organization, spells out its overall goal, provides a sense of direction, and guides decision making for all levels of management.
At this juncture in my life, I've decided to write a mission statement for my life to provide me with a sense of direction and overall goal and guide my decision making. Now, mission statements go through numerous drafts before one is created that captures and reflects the organization or in this case the persons' purpose.
Draft:
Tanisha Pleasant,
Ambitous woman whose purpose is to lead a life driven by passion and integrity for my family, business ventures and community. Everything I do will be done with positive energy, must make me happy and followed through to completion. I will practice love, loyalty and patience to with my family. I will create a life for myself where I control my finances and career. I will devote time and resources to my community.
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