In a Vulnerable State of Mind~

Life happens and then what? When you grow up feeling like you u have no choice but to be in control of every situation, what do you do when you don't have control? I am strong minded, stubborn, persistent, ambitous and to a certain extent spoiled rotten and most of the women in my life are the same. Like me, they often struggle with letting go of that need for control and letting life happen. In my mind, vulnerability comes from suppressing your feelings, not having a say so, holding something in to the point that makes you feel helpless. I feel like everything is a direct reflection of the effort you put into it, so I go hard with whatever it is I decide I want. Sometimes we can be so convinced that something or someone is what we need or want for our lives, but without any assurance that that is so, we are left in a vulnerable state of mind. Vulnerablity makes me feel weak and if it's one thing I fear it's weakness. Right now the only solution I have for curing vulenerablity is to withdraw yourself from the situation to regain control of your feelings and your thoughts...But does having control mean that much to me that I'd be willing to risk accepting what God has in store for me?t'