That Must Be Liberating...

Ever catch yourself crying or so upset or frustrated about something...or stressing about something that completely takes you outside of who you are...Sometimes, the next day we look back and not even remember what we were obsessing about. Sometimes I get taken back to trying to control everything and overthinking things. The older I've gotten I've learned how to filter out what's important to me and what doesn't deserve my energy. These days the preservation of my energy is really a focus. There's so much power in how you use is, or fail to use it. Undirected or wasted energy is so draining~and energy focused in the right places, just feels right. For me a balanced mind, heart, body and soul is what keeps me grounded. Most of the times all of those things aren't always in sink and its evident in my energy.

I started to think today, if there's ever been a time in my life where I've felt completely liberated? I'm talking about feeling free, happy for no specific reason, when your heart is smiling, your body feel undescribable sensations and your soul is fed? I've had moments, but I've never really felt completely liberated. Sometimes those moments feel so good that you don't ever want to lose them, but they come and go so randomly outside of your control that you can't pinpoint where they came from or how to get them back.

In my career I feel liberated when my hard work is noticed, or when new opportunities arise or when I'm inspired to push beyond my limits. In love, I'm liberated when I don't have to ask for anything and all of my needs are met, when time stands still and nothing else even matters. My body is liberated when I feel sexy, unrestrained, after a good workout when all the right places ache and feel good at the same time. And my soul, my soul is liberated when life happens organically, without me trying to control it and God happens.

When all of those things come together, life is easy.

These days I'm so much more conscientious when I'm inside of these moments than when I'm out of them, I hold on to what I feel so I can remember that feeling when its come. My goal in life is for those moments to last forever. While I know its something i cant control, I am certain that if I focus my energy in the right directions, at the right people, right circumstances - my liberation will last a lifetime.