Letting the Past dictate your Future

This was particularly interesting weekend for me. These days it seems like every weekend is...This weekend my past came back to haunt me, as it was the anniversary of one of the most painful times in my life.

Over the years I've developed a pretty tough exterior, but have yet to conquer what's really going on inside, which often results in a temporary shut-down - causing me to relive something that I've repressed. One of my weaknesses is my faith in people. If someone new comes into my life that I get a sense of good energy from, I completely open up to them and as a result I am completely trusting and have faith that outside of anything else, they are "good people". Well history has proven me wrong on several occassions, not neccesarily telling me that these weren't good people, but that I probably shouldn't have that much faith in people. I can't help to think that people are innately "good", but what I am learning is that everyone has their own agenda and you may not be privy to what's on it, and as a result somewhere in the mix, signals will get crossed and someone will get disappointed.

We often get caught up in our pasts, which means we really haven't addressed those feelings or completly let them go. As a result we project those stale feelings onto others. Anything can trigger them. This weekend mine were definitely triggered, which put a dagger into where I already was in that moment and made it tens times worse. Today I realize that I sabotaged myself, re-opening a door to something that probably should've stayed closed and inviting something into my life that is not in line with what's good for me right now...

I allowed something from a year ago, bring me back to a place I should've never revisited. Why do we go back to those feelings, maybe b/c we never really dealt with them or b/c we see ourselves headed to that same place, that caused us to be in that situation in the first place. Sometimes we don't realize that we perpetuate cycles, we get so used to a particular behavior within ourselves and in other people, that we unconsciously act that out over and over again in our lives. God could put everything in front of us showing us that you do not want to go down that road again, but we will continue to forge through as if he hadn't said anything at all. Well last night he slapped me across the face...and send me a message loud and clear.

The past is exactly that, the past. When you've let go of something don't go looking for it again. There's a reason that it no longer exists as a part of your life. Think of how much better your life is b/c that thing or person is not in it! Letting the past dictate your future is a set-up for failure. Live your life for tomorrow and not yesterday, last month or last year. There are so many great things yet to come.